Vanesa Ajayi is a wife, mother of two and a grandmother of four.\u00a0 She is a registered Nurse and the Patient Safety Officer at UMMC-Midtown Campus where she has been employed for 40 consecutive years.\u00a0 She believes that if you sow seeds of kindness, compassion, and charity, good things will always come back to you in return.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n Phyllis Ajayi is a <\/em>single<\/em> mother of 2, DeWayne and Alexis. She is employed by Kennedy Krieger Institute where she coordinates human resources processes for their Behavioral Psychology department. Phyllis also enjoys volunteering her time at her church, Colonial Baptist Church, as well as other community organizations and non-profit agencies.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Alexis Ajayi is a freshman at Baltimore Polytechnic Institute where she is a dedicated member of the cheerleading squad.\u00a0 She is also a member of Colonial Baptist Church\u2019s Graceful Praise dance ministry.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n How has your mother impacted the way you view motherhood?<\/span>\u00a0<\/strong>Phyllis:<\/span> <\/strong>Motherhood is an awesome responsibility and one that should never be taken lightly. It\u2019s more about your walk than your talk and my mother has always walked the walk so to speak. So as I navigate motherhood, I\u2019m fortunate to have a pretty detailed roadmap in the form of my mother\u2019s example. I don\u2019t do everything as she would but I have a starting point and I can add or subtract as I see fit.<\/p>\n How had your daughters’ parenting style reflected or clashed with how you raised her?<\/span>\u00a0<\/strong>Vanessa:<\/strong><\/span> Phyllis\u2019s parenting style reflects how I raised her.\u00a0 She is very compassionate, caring and she sets boundaries for her children.\u00a0 They are expected to go to school to learn, study and achieve grades of the highest standard.\u00a0 She will assist them and guide them with homework and projects as needed.\u00a0 Most of the time, she will direct them to resources that help them be independent thinkers and have the capability to do research.\u00a0 Phyllis is her children\u2019s personal cheerleader.\u00a0 She encourages them to always strive to be that A plus student.<\/p>\n What are you most proud of when you think of your daughter\/mother?\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Vanessa:<\/strong><\/span> I am most proud of my daughters\u2019 ability to be a survivor.\u00a0 She has experienced several personal tragedies in her life.\u00a0 She emerged as a strong woman who utilized her Christian Faith to survive.\u00a0 After becoming a member of a new church congregation, she became a leader in the Women\u2019s Ministry at her church. \u00a0She later got involved with United Way and also asked to Co-Chair a Jewish-Afro-American Community Forum based on her ability to address sensitive issues in a non-threatening way.<\/p>\n Phyllis: <\/strong><\/span>I proudest of her \u201cin spite of\u201d attitude towards everything. Nothing deters her from reaching her mark and her mark is always high. She does not allow obstacles to be obstacles. She pushes through no matter what.<\/p>\n Alexis:<\/strong> <\/span>I am most proud of the fact she has stayed strong despite all of her circumstances.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n What’s the greatest lesson your daughter\/mother has taught you?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Vanessa:<\/strong><\/span> The greatest lesson my daughter has taught me is that adverse events don\u2019t have to define you.\u00a0 She knows how to turn lemons into lemonade.<\/p>\n Phyllis:<\/span> <\/strong>My mother made sure that we always had a spiritual center and we were always God focused. My foundation in my faith has been instrumental in my ability to navigate through life\u2019s ups and downs.<\/p>\n Alexis:<\/strong><\/span> The greatest lesson my mother has taught me is that \u201cYou never know who\u2019s watching.\u201d<\/p>\n What did you see in your daughter at an early age that now serves her well as an adult?\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>Vanessa:<\/strong> <\/span>As a child,\u00a0I knew that Phyllis would be a great leader.\u00a0 She was always chosen to represent her class, she would always volunteer to help with a school event.\u00a0 She always strived to be the best at everything she does and never allowed anyone to tell her she couldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n What do you see in your mother that you now see in yourself?\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Phyllis: <\/strong><\/span>I did not realize until recently how much of a survivor and a fighter my mother is. I definitely see that in myself. Defeat is not an option.<\/p>\n Alexis:<\/strong> <\/span>Something I see in my mother that I now see in myself is compassion for those in need.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n What’s the biggest difference you see in today’s times (vs. when you were raising your child\/being raised) that creates challenges or ease?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Vanessa:<\/strong> <\/span>The biggest challenge that I see today is how volatile schools have become.\u00a0 When Phyllis went to school, I never worried about school violence and whether she would get her safely. \u00a0My other concern is the quality and commitment of\u00a0some<\/strong>\u00a0of the teachers.\u00a0 Do they help the student reach for greatness or do they allow them to settle for mediocre?<\/p>\n Phyllis:<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span>I think the answer to both is the same\u2026progress. Progress creates challenges as well as ease. One of the easiest examples is the internet. The internet can be great. You can research anything. No need to make a trip to the library and check out 5-10 books. Everything is at your fingertips, but that everything includes some very ugly things. Children now have access to so many negative influences and those negative influences, in turn, have access to them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n What’s one thing you’d like your daughter\/mother to know this mother’s day?\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Vanessa:<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0Phyllis, as a mother I am so proud of the relationship you have with your children.\u00a0 I like that you are always hugging them and they do the same in\u00a0return.\u00a0 You are raising teenagers who are respectful, studious and always willing to go that extra mile to help others.\u00a0\u00a0Finally, I thank you for being that\u00a0Rock<\/strong>\u00a0that I need as I progress through my Leukemia.\u00a0 I would not have been able to survive without your love and support.<\/p>\n Phyllis:<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0I\u00a0know that as a parent, I\u2019m always wondering if I\u2019m getting it right. I want my mother to know she got it right. She has always been a shining example of what a mother should be. Nothing ever got in the way of her mothering\u2026not her career, not social obligations, not personal turmoil\u2026nothing. I\u2019m sure there were days that she just did not feel like it, or maybe the money wasn\u2019t there, or maybe she just did not know how\u2026I never knew. In my eyes, everything was perfect. And even today as she battles Leukemia, she\u2019s still determined to be my mother\u2026always with the watchful eye making sure her baby is ok. I want her to know that her baby is ok and it\u2019s all because of her and I\u2019m so grateful that God blessed me to be her daughter. Without her constant support over the years, I definitely would not be here today\u2026literally.<\/p>\n Alexis:<\/strong><\/span> One thing I want my mother to know this Mother\u2019s Day is that despite what she may think sometimes, I love her very much.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Mother’s Day Reflections Vanesa Ajayi is a wife, mother of two and a grandmother of four.\u00a0 She is a registered Nurse and the Patient Safety Officer at UMMC-Midtown Campus where she has been employed for 40 consecutive years.\u00a0 She believes that if you sow seeds of kindness, compassion, and charity, good things will always come […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":21692,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9,10,13,15,30,20,21],"tags":[2,3,19,4,14,29],"class_list":["post-13933","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-engagement","category-experience","category-leadership","category-millennial","category-motherhood","category-personalities","category-reflection","tag-culture","tag-engagement","tag-experience","tag-leadership","tag-millennial","tag-motherhood"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n