3 Essential Boundaries to Prevent Holiday Burnout and Boost Your Well-being
Like clockwork, every holiday season I’d get sick. And I mean reaaallly sick.
Like body aches, sore throat, runny nose, headache, can’t get out of bed sick. It got to the point that I was taken to the doctor to specifically pinpoint why this happened so consistently this time of the year.
The doctor shared that many people who are super high-achieving feel like they never get a break. And then when there’s a pause from regular accelerated expectations, their body takes it as a sign that it’s breaking down and illness is more susceptible.
It felt like more of a psychologist’s insight than my primary care physician.
It was the first time I realized that I had an unhealthy relationship to “achievement”. I was in middle school.
As a kid, being a hard worker was the equivalent to being a good kid. And I quickly learned that when you’re a hard worker, you get more rewards in the form of love (and avoiding pain).
As I grew older, I decided that I was only a “good kid” if I would…
- smash my annual goals at work (not just meet them)
- get all work projects completed for the new year
- make sure everyone knew how much I appreciated them for what they did that year
- send handwritten cards to 100+ people
- find the perfect gifts for all my chosen family, colleagues and clients
- throw the best holiday gathering
… to name a few!
Looking back, it’s no wonder that my body would break down so hard each winter break. I simply couldn’t keep up the act for that long of a stretch.
Today, I choose to have compassion for my younger self. She was always doing more to try to feel like she was good enough. And while it wasn’t fun, it was required training to learn what other options there might be to stop that cycle of burn out.
Between the high expectations at work, home, community and even within yourself, it can feel nearly impossible to avoid burnout at year-end. The constant feeling like there’s never enough time in your day, it’s impossible to get ahead and you can’t believe how much is still on your to do list.
In the US alone, an estimated 120,000 deaths and $190 billion in healthcare spending per year are attributed to workplace burnout. And 70% of Americans suffer from anxiety.
We’re struggling against a societal epidemic of poor well-being. And while this is the season for cheer – it’s also reported as the most stressful.
But there’s another way.
It’s transformative to learn what life can be when you slow down to get ahead. And that all starts and ends with BOUNDARIES!
Let’s get clear about a couple of misunderstandings about boundaries before we go any further.
Boundaries Are NOT…
❌ mean
❌ selfish
❌ rude
❌ only for some people
Boundaries ARE…
✅ the keys the freedom!
✅ a gift that you get to give yourself and others
✅ a reflection your values
✅ a tool to help others to learn how to respect your values
Here are 3 life-changing boundaries to begin:
- With Yourself.
Boundaries mean nothing if you don’t have them with yourself first. We’re constantly violating our own values for the sake of other people’s well-being. So, let’s take 100% responsibility for how you’re currently breaking your own boundaries right now. Think: By not saying no, what are you saying yes to that’s beyond your capacity for well-being? Consider this affirmation prompt to motivate yourself to have better boundaries with yourself: “I promise to set healthy boundaries to protect my energy. I know it’s necessary for me to prioritize my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. It’s not selfish to be healthy. When I set boundaries, it teaches others that they can do the same, and I become a part of changing the world for the better.” - With Your Work.
This time of year often holds high expectations on both year-end goal achievement and holiday gatherings. Many reviews are being done, and bonuses are being determined accordingly. It can be a lot to move through on top of what’s already high expectations on the home front. Think: Which of my core values matter most right now, and how might I show that in my actions? Consider this script in having better boundaries with your work:I can tell this is an important new initiative that I want to support. Given what we are already taking on, how might we reprioritize this in the new year? - With Your Loved Ones.
Boundaries with loved ones can be tough. Especially if they’re kiddos or wisdom keepers who are really counting on you to carry on traditions. Even still, it is always your choice on how much you take on without question.Think: Where have I been doing things just because I always have and how might I only take on what I love doing?Consider this script for better boundaries with your loved ones:“Let’s make this the best holiday by all taking on a little piece of the traditions. I can cover the cookie making. What would bring you joy to lead this year so we can each own our favorite traditions?”
In the words of Prentis Hemphill, boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.
So let’s put more love into this world and go try them out! See what happens and give yourself permission to be human along the way.
Give yourself the chance to set them over and over again until it feels natural for you. It takes courage to speak your truth and it’s that very courage that has the power to change your life and every life you touch this holiday season and beyond!
Want to take it further? Click here for a free guided meditation on setting healthy boundaries.
When you are ready, here’s how I can help you set powerful boundaries that stick.
Alignment Coaching: Want to make this the most joyful, stress-free holiday season to date? Excited but scared to set healthy boundaries to protect your energy? I’ll be your loving guide and support system to do things differently this year and beyond.
Work with me 1×1 to align with your core values and ignite more well-being without compromising your impact. Fill out this inquiry form to see if we’re a good fit for one another.