Step-by-Step Guide: How to Find the Perfect Mentor for Your Career Growth

Mentorship occurs when you accept feedback and direction from a trusted advisor. This is one of the key things to look for when you wonder how to find a mentor.

There is no denying the good that comes from learning and growing through mentoring relationships. Feeling a sense of purpose, increased confidence and a boost in listening skills are among the benefits for both the mentor and the mentee. According to our High Achieving Millennial Research findings, “formalized mentoring” is the #1 thing young professionals want – both for those with high and low job satisfaction. 

With mentoring programs popping up left and right, how do we know which are successful and which are simply checking the box that they have one?

One of the biggest reasons a mentoring relationship doesn’t work is the same as any relationship, they’re not a good fit!  It breaks my heart when I see companies invest resources in building a mentoring program that ultimately falls flat because no one stays engaged past the kick-off event.

Oftentimes there’s a disconnect between the two sides on the expectation for the relationship – like how often you connect and what you hope to gain from the experience?

The most successful mentoring relationships are the ones who are very clear on what they hope to gain and look forward to their interactions. They don’t need prodding to get together and there’s a mutual respect for their time and one another’s gifts. They work when both parties are deeply connected and want to be a part of their success story.

So, how do you find a mentor? Try these 3 questions to filter whether or not your mentor is the right fit for you…

  1. Are your values in alignment?

If the value of “wealth” is a huge driver for you, is it theirs too? Do you value a “sense of belonging” but your mentor couldn’t care less? Defining your values and seeing how they match up with those of your mentor is a HUGE step in understanding if their advice is coming from a place that’s in alignment with your beliefs.

  2.  Does their lifestyle emulate what you’d like to achieve?

Do you wish you live a life of simplicity, prioritizing time with loved ones? If so, does your mentor live that type of life? Or are they working 24/7 and missing out on milestones outside of the office? More often than not, their advice will reflect their own experience.

  3. Do they possess a skill or have experience in something you want to gain insight from?

Many times people think, “Oh they’re the CEO, I have lots to learn from them.” But when you start talking you realize that the skills they possess and the experiences they’re sharing aren’t ones that get you excited. And that’s okay! Everyone has something of value to offer, but with mentoring, long-term success is often grounded in an area of expertise you hope to learn about.

I have been very fortunate to have many mentors in my life. And not a single one of them came from a formalized matching program. They range from executives who saw my potential and wanted to help me soar to friends who are achieving success in ways I hope to one day. They all came through life experience, admiration for the mentor, and intentionally investing in a relationship together. It doesn’t “just happen.” You need to make it a priority and stay consistent in showing your appreciation and interest.

As I grew older and started my own business, I had to be more critical about who I invested my time in and who I took advice from. It was really challenging to even consider someone who once gave me advice was no longer the right fit for my vision in life. 

So before you dive into investing in your next mentoring relationship, stop and reflect on what you want out of it. Then filter your process by understanding where you and your mentor are in alignment and where you are not. And you don’t need to be in 100% alignment! The good stuff comes from our differences. However, we’re more likely to be successful when we trust and respect the person giving the advice because they embody the qualities and lifestyle that we ultimately wish to see in ourselves.