How Letting Go of Your Ego Can Transform Your Life: 3 Essential Lessons to Embrace

It’s 2 am, pitch black in the middle of South Dakota, and I’m driving cross-country for the first time.

My eyes feel like they are about to pop out of my head.
I am having trouble seeing straight.
That warm, sweaty feeling of anxiety washes over my body.

I grip the wheel harder and can see the whites of my knuckles…
I take a deep breath as it pours buckets against the windshield.

I feel like I am going to crash…

But we need to get there as soon as possible!

It’s worth it to push it a little bit further…

Earlier that day, we were in Detroit for MaryBeth’s keynote and had a little over a day’s worth of driving hours ahead of us to get to our tiny home in the mountains of Idaho.

The keynote went so well that we were dancing all up in the car vibes like…

So when the GPS showed that we could arrive a whole day earlier than planned if we drove 24+ hours straight, we both looked at each other and said,

“Let’s go for it!”

Ten hours later, those vibes shifted. I was struggling to keep it together. But I didn’t want to change the plan again.

MaryBeth kept asking if I wanted to stop for the night. But there was this little voice in my head that started screaming that I HAD to push through… like:

“Hey you sissy, man-up! You don’t need to listen to your body right now! People drive through the night all the time. Keep pushing. You’ll be the hero if you show up a whole day ahead of schedule.”

This inner dialogue was all too familiar…

You know those mean self-talk wounds you’ve done a lot of work to heal from?

The ones you think you have moved past?

It can be a real pain in the ass when they come back in full force.

A few hours later, I’m jolted when MaryBeth says,

“I’d rather arrive a day later alive than push through and possibly die.”

She was right. I take a deep breath and agree.

It was a good day for my ego death.

Why do we do this to ourselves?
Why do we choose to suffer when there is another choice?
Why do we push through when we could ask for help?
Why are we in such a hurry?

Road trip or not, here are three lessons to apply to your life if you’re ready for part of your ego death too!

Ego Death Tip #1 – Love Your Triggers

The longest journey you’ll ever go on is from my head to your heart. When you are healing, you are tapping into your heart’s wisdom.

It can be frustrating when you think you have done the work to heal a part of you, only to have it reappear.

Your ego will always try to protect your hell and keep you stuck in your head. So, what is important is how you respond once you are triggered.

Can you be aware that you are triggered? What is your trigger inviting you to heal? Can you love this part of yourself right now as it is? What might be different if you sat down next to this wound and asked it what it needed instead of trying to shut it up?

Forgive yourself. Release your grievances. Give yourself permission to be human.

Ego Death Tip #2 – Remember to Breathe

Anxiety is excitement without breath.

When stressed, you tend to hold your breath OR you breathe really fast. When relaxed, you breathe slower from your nose to your belly.

Research shows that breathing in through your nose – sending your breath down to your belly activates your parasympathetic nervous system. AKA your “rest and digest mode.”

So the next time you’re anxious, take a long deep breaths and witness the shift in your well-being.

Focusing on your breath brings you into the present moment and out of the mind chatter of your ego.

Breathing is a great way to access your values of health, self-care, and inner harmony.

Ego Death Tip #3 – Set Healthy Boundaries.

Life is like a game. There are different levels when it comes to lessons you need to learn. So, when you keep getting the same lessons, those are opportunities to level up your boundaries.

Where might you be pushing through and listening to your head (your ego) and not your heart?

This is an opportunity to learn how to (re)set some boundaries to protect your energy. When you do, this lesson won’t show up in the same way next time. (no broken records required)

Remember: Boundaries are the key to ultimate freedom.

So, where in your life are you ready for an ego death?

Which lessons might serve you best today to make that possible?

Meet yourself where you are and give full permission to be human.

When you are ready, here are three ways I can help you.

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