Transform Your Relationship: How One Simple Question Can Save Your Marriage
I have a confession… James (my gorgeous, kind, smart, loving husband of 11 years) and I almost ended our marriage twice.💔 Until we learned how to save your relationship…
While we had a wonderful life together on paper, we were both suffering immensely and felt we were taking the other down with us. It was like waving the 🏳️ white flag of, “Well, we tried. It was a good run. I understand if you want to leave me now.”
At the time, we were moving through some massive invitations for healing, and it felt easier to give up than to dig deeper into ourselves and each other.
🛑Inevitably, we stopped…
- Connecting with each other for support
- Doing things that made us happy
- Living our values
As a result, we started to feel…
- More alone in our struggles
- Less faith in the future
- Disconnected to our purpose
My story that “I’ll always be alone.” was blasting on repeat on my internal stereo system. Shit was rough. I started to understand the statistic that almost 50% of marriages end in divorce. So, I started to think about how to save your relationship…
But you know what? A complete breakdown is often the best place to have a life-changing breakthrough!
And that’s exactly what happened. It all came down to asking ourselves the same question every day, over and over again…
🪄 Here’s the magic question: Does this reflect our values?
More often than not, if you’re feeling drained, your values are being violated, and boundaries are desperately needed. 🪫And when you’re filled up, your values are being honored, and there’s an opportunity to create more of that energy on purpose! 🔋
When we kept asking that magic question, we started noticing the choices we were making that were unconsciously pushing us apart and violating our values. And we renewed our commitments to ourselves and each other in moment-by-moment, day-to-day real life.
(a peek at our morning movement routine)
Things like…
- Start and end each day with gratitude, meditation, and movement. 🙏Creating a state of abundance for energy and information to flow. [Values: Inner Harmony, Connection, Sprituality]
- Connect with Mother Nature daily. 🌳Choose our outdoor sacred spaces as often as possible and make a ritual of listening to her wisdom with complete presence. [Values: Spirituality, Connection, Inner Harmony]
- Be a loving mirror. 🪞Support one another when we are suffering and generously hold curious space with the intention to return to grace. [Values: Wisdom, Connection, Growth]
- Explore and expand our consciousness. 💓 Connect with the universe through monthly manifestation ceremonies, quarterly retreats, and ongoing guidance from our inner artists, teachers, and guides. [Values: Wisdom, Growth, Connection]
- Ensure our home is a place of peace and possibility. 🏡Minimize stuff and maximize simplicity so we are an open channel for creation. [Values: Inner Harmony, Growth]
- Create unexpected delights. Invest meaningful time for fun with our chosen family and friends who ignite our shared values. [Values: Connection, Inner Harmony]
And these, right here☝️, are what we coined “Value Promises.” They’re the little things that are really the big things because they reflect your authenticity. Value Promises create a compass, filter, and guardrails for knowing whether or not you’re activating your shared beliefs on purpose.
We’ve taught tens of thousands worldwide to create Value Promises in their lives and relationships. I even wrote a whole dang best-selling book on it! And the results are consistently transformative.
(my sweet grandparents at the end and beginning of their love story)
One of the best pieces of wisdom my head-over-heels in love for 75-years grandparents gave me was: “You must have a life together and apart. When you’re together, do what you both love. When you’re apart, you do what you love individually and bring that loving energy back into your partnership to strengthen it even more.”
It’s timeless wisdom that I’ve taken to heart. And transmuted into my version of sage wisdom: Cherish your shared values together and honor your unique values apart. Your life will be authentically filled with purpose and happiness every day.
That is how to save your relationship!
So, keep asking, “Does this reflect our values?”
- This conversation
- This boundary
- This investment
- This date night
- This environment
- This expectation
- This meal
- This vacation
- This work
- This debate
- This home
- This clothing
- This lifestyle
- This relationship
- This hobby
And on and on and on…. Your life will transform when you ask the question and KNOW the values to filter it through. And when you do that WITH your partner, your entire family will shift into a better flow and connection.
It’s that simple and that complex.
That is how to save your relationship!
Feeling like you’re ready to make Value Promises in your life and relationship? Check out our limited-time special Valentine’s Offer now, where we’ll guide you to create and live them together.
After celebrating and supporting dozens of couples with values-driven win after win, we’d love to ignite that winning energy with you and your partner, too!
When you are ready, here are two ways we can help you.
💝 Knowing and Living Your Values Course: Want a more authentic connection with your partner? Give the gift of understanding what makes you come alive and what drains you – especially in your relationship. You’ll even get a special “love lens” reflection guide to supercharge your life together. Join 7,500+ Students here. 50% off! Only $97 (normally $194 for two)
💝Couples Alignment Coaching: Ready to experience your partnership in a much deeper way? Work with us 2×2 to ignite more well-being, love, and fun in your relationship through your shared core values. We’ve coached dozens of couples to amplify their communication, connection, and boundaries so they can live their best lives together and apart. Click here to learn more and invest in this life-changing gift now. 50% off! Only $999 (normally $1,998 for 2×2)