6 Powerful Steps to Tame Your Ego and Embrace Self-Compassion

Around the age of 4, your mind begins to form its ego. The ego is the little voice in your head that takes away the joy in the present moment. It whispers and sometimes screams that you’re not enough and questions your every move.

When you don’t recognize what’s happening and calibrate back into a place of kindness, it can take you down like no other. A mentor of mine says ego stands for edging god out.

You know that struggle, right?

You can practice mindfulness, yoga, meditation, and all the rest. And those tools are incredibly helpful! But no matter how much you practice, that critical inner voice will find its way back. So the best thing you can do is be aware of its arrival and have tools to tame it so it doesn’t take over your well-being.

But how?

Here’s a way to instantly ignite more self-compassion in the face of an ego attack…

Can you remember when you were itty bitty and didn’t have a care in the world?

Everything was exciting because it was all new.

Then you started to realize, “Something is not right here, but I don’t know what. And I don’t know how to make it better.” So you’d cry and scream until you were (hopefully) comforted by someone else.

Well, that little sweet baby version of you is still there. It’s your inner child that lives inside of you. You may have grown in age and size, but your need to be cared for still exists. The difference is that now that you’re an adult, you can do something about it.

And you don’t need to rely on anyone but yourself. Not your partner, not your boss, not your best friend. You have everything you need right inside of you. You just need to be reminded of the truth.

So how do you do that?

📸Step 1: Find a picture of yourself before the age of 4. Ideally, one that makes you happy when you see it. Bonus: Make it the background of your phone so you always have it.

👀Step 2: Look deeply into that little babe’s heart and soul and remember how precious you are.

💭Step 3: Using your photo, imagine those unwanted thoughts as if they were just an innocent child who was scared and needed to be cared for.

👂Step 4: Get curious and listen. Might you be able to get quiet and ask your inner child why they’re frightened? What do they need to feel safe?

Listening from a place of compassion allows the ego to move through instead of just trying to get it to shut up. Remind yourself that ‘little you’ is fully alive and needs you to care for them at the same level you would care for an innocent child.

🙏 Step 5: Forgive yourself. Take a deep breath and know you’re doing the best you can and growing each day. Give yourself permission to be human.

❤️‍🩹Step 6: Activate self-care. Love hard on yourself the way you would a child. Do you need to be rocked? Put to bed? Told that you’re enough, that you’re loved, that you’re perfect exactly as you are?

Give yourself what you need to hear and feel.

☝️This is the photo I use for this practice in my life. When I first got this picture as an adult, I wept—tears of love and pain.

I felt the love I had for my cowboy uncle and horses while also remembering the pain that was in my life from an abusive father. When I looked at how innocent I was I thought, “How could anyone ever hurt her?” “Can’t you see how sweet and good she is?”

And then I realized how long I’ve unconsciously chosen to abuse myself by never tending to or changing my relationship with my wounded, abusive ego.

Now that I’m an adult (and the only one who can truly hear her), I can consciously choose to do that for myself.

Will you care for your sweet, innocent inner child who so desperately wants your love and attention?

Join me in making that image front and center in your life. Harness it as a tool to keep yourself in alignment.

Love yourself in all the ways you missed and all the ways you know to be true. Everyone benefits when you choose to tend to your inner child and tame your ego.

When you are ready, here are three ways we can help you.

Knowing and Living Your Values: During my 10-day course, you’ll identify your unique values, see where you’re currently activating them, and make small tweaks where you’re not so that every day is filled with purpose. Join 7,500+ Students Here.

Alignment Coaching: Want to start the new year as your most authentic self? Work with me 1×1 to align with your core values and ignite more well-being without compromising your impact. Fill out this inquiry form to see if we’re a good fit for one another.

Hire MaryBeth as a Speaker: Have an all-staff event, annual meeting or conference coming up? I will inspire your audience to give themselves and others, permission to be human, unleashing higher productivity, profit, and purpose through shared values. Learn more here.