Stop Forcing It: Discover How Personal Boundaries Lead to Progress and Peace
I pull with all my strength, but they don’t budge—not even an inch.
My ego is shouting, “You’re strong! You can do this. Just keep pulling harder…”
So, why aren’t they moving?
I try again, digging in, giving it everything I’ve got.
Nothing.
MaryBeth suggests, “Why don’t you try changing your energy instead?”
I try. Still, no movement.
Frustration builds. Why can’t I move them? I’m using all my strength, my muscles are straining, and my ego is still whispering, “Keep pulling harder. You’re strong enough…”
Then I pause and think… Maybe I should talk this out instead.
Finally, MaryBeth comes over and helps, shifting the energy just enough to get them moving.
The “them” I’m referring to is our 1,000+ pound horse, Ollie.
(Me and Ollie out grazing)
I had taken him out to graze, and when it was time to stop, he wasn’t having it. He wanted to keep eating. And honestly, I couldn’t blame him.
As I tried to muscle my way through, he just stood there, ignoring my futile efforts. Sure, I’m strong, but he’s 20 times stronger and could stand there all day if he wanted to.
This experience made me think about all the areas of my life where I’ve tried to force my way through something, wasting so much energy, only to feel stuck and frustrated.
And what about you, Angelie?
Have you ever tried to push, pull, or force your way through life’s challenges, only to feel like you’re hitting a brick wall?
This moment reminded me how important it is to set boundaries with myself.
Why boundaries? Because when you have boundaries with yourself, you don’t have to choose to muscle through, end up stuck, frustrated, or completely drained from pushing too hard.
Here’s how you can start setting boundaries with yourself when you’re exhausted from muscle through life:
🔍Step 1: Awareness
The next time you find yourself pushing or pulling too hard, pause and take note. What’s happening? How are you feeling? Are you forcing your way through because you feel you “should” be able to handle it all alone?
Example 1:
You’re at work, drowning in tasks, and telling yourself, “I just need to push through this. I don’t have time to get someone up to speed to help.” Meanwhile, you’re exhausted, unfocused, and barely getting anything done.
Example 2:
It’s Saturday, and you promised yourself this would be your day to rest, but now you’re cleaning the house, running errands, and doing laundry. Your body is telling you to slow down, but your mind is saying, “Keep going. You can relax once you’ve gotten this all done.”
In moments like these, notice how you feel. Are you feeling stressed, drained, or overwhelmed?
🎯Step 2: Intention
Once you’re aware of what you don’t want, shift your focus to what you do want. How do you actually want to feel? Set an intention for how you want to show up the next time a similar situation arises.
Example 1:
Instead of saying, “I need to push through this workload alone,” you set the intention: “I will take breaks when I need to and delegate tasks when possible. I want to feel calm and collected.” (not anxious and overwhelmed)
Example 2:
Instead of powering through the weekend like a machine, you set the intention: “Today, I’ll honor my body’s needs. I’ll do a few things that energize me, then allow myself time to rest and recharge. I want to feel relaxed.” (not depleted)
Intentions give you clarity on what you want to experience, and that clarity helps you approach situations with more ease and control.
🛑Step 3: Boundaries with Yourself
Now that you know how you want to feel, it’s time to start setting boundaries with yourself. These are the rules you set to protect your energy and prevent burnout. Boundaries stop you from overdoing it when you’re at your limit.
Example 1:
When work gets overwhelming, you set the boundary: “When I feel overloaded, I will prioritize training my team members so they can take over and create more flow overall. I won’t try to do everything myself. If I’m stuck, I’ll pause for a moment to reassess rather than push blindly forward.”
Example 2:
When you feel like you need to rest, you set the boundary: “If my body is telling me to rest, I will listen. I will say no to activities that will deplete me. I’ll take breaks, enjoy downtime, and remind myself that it’s okay not to be busy all the time.”
Boundaries with yourself help you avoid the endless cycle of pushing too hard and feeling exhausted. They create space for you to live in a way that aligns with your energy and values.
When you start setting boundaries with yourself, life becomes easier. You create more flow and grace. You stop banging your head against a wall and start making choices that feel aligned with who you are.
Setting boundaries with yourself allows you to protect your energy. They prevent you from feeling drained and frustrated, giving you the Freedom (one of my top core values) to live a life that feels good.
So the next time you feel stuck or frustrated, activate the value of Curiosity and ask:
What boundaries can I set with myself to move forward?
And remember—give yourself permission to be human. That little voice inside your head (your ego) may not like it when you start setting boundaries with yourself. It’ll try to pull you back into old habits, but that’s a sign you’re on the right track.
You’ve got this, my friend. Keep going. 💪
And if you need help, we’re here for you!
Values-Driven Boundaries: How to Confidently Say Yes to
What Lights You Up and No to What Burns You Out
Give yourself full permission to be human as you rewire yourself to understand that setting boundaries is an act of self-care, not selfishness. No judgment, guilt, or worry about other people’s opinions is required.
Celebrate World Values Day with us for this free experience on Thursday, Oct 17th, 12:30 pm EST.
Join this workshop to…
- Understand the Role of Core Values: You will gain clarity on your core values and understand how these values drive your decisions, behaviors, and overall sense of fulfillment. ✨🔍
- Recognize Boundary Challenges: Identify common challenges and roadblocks to setting effective boundaries, particularly those that align with your values. 🚧🔗
- Develop Practical Skills: Learn practical techniques to establish and maintain boundaries that support personal and professional well-being. 🔧💡